Your marriage at St. Andrew's

Your marriage service is a public declaration of love and commitment to your partner.  When you marry in church, there is an added dimension - the assurance that God is a part of your relationship, cares about it, and that his resources and strength are available to help you. Including God in your marriage doesn’t mean that you will avoid all the usual ups and downs, but you will know that you can look to God for help and guidance and that his love will sustain you. You will also have the support and encouragement of the Christian Church family, which includes those of us at St. Andrew's.

Preparing for your marriage service: frequently asked questions

Q| Can I get married at St. Andrew's?
A| You are entitled to be married at St. Andrew's if one of you lives in the parish. If you are not sure whether you live in the parish have a look at

this map which shows the parish boundaries.  If you are an active, worshipping member of another church congregation, it is usually possible to be married in that church.

If St. Andrew's is not the local church of either of you, you will have to go on our electoral roll if you wish to be married in the church: you will need to attend church services for a few months before going on the roll. In certain circumstances you can apply for a Special Licence.

Q| How do I book the church?
A| As soon as you have decided you would like to get married in church, get in touch with our Vicar (see the 'Get in Touch' page) to see whether the church is free on your preferred date.

The Vicar will arrange to meet up with you in person to chat over your plans.

Q| What are the legal requirements?
A| Before you get married in The Church of England you usually have to have you banns read. We have to do this on three Sundays during the three months before the wedding. Although we usually do this over three consecutive Sundays but it does not have to be done this way. Banns are an announcement of your intention to marry and a chance for anyone to put forward a reason why the marriage may not lawfully take place. If one or both of you do not live in our parish the banns will also need to be read in the parish where each of you lives. There are circumstances where some form of licence, such as a common licence or special licence, is more appropriate. Our Vicar will discuss with you what you need to do.

If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents’ consent to marry.

There are special guidelines on church marriage if you have been divorced - please see the section below.

Q| What if one of us is divorced?
A| The Church of England teaches that marriage is for life, but in exceptional circumstances, a divorced person may marry again in church during the lifetime of a former spouse.

It is wise to make an appointment to speak to the Vicar before setting a date. He will want to talk to you frankly about the past, your hopes for the future and your understanding of marriage  If it is not possible for you to be married in church, the Vicar can discuss alternatives with you, such as a Service of Prayer and Dedication after a civil ceremony.

Q| How much will it cost?
A| The legal fees for a marriage cover the publication of the banns, certificate of banns (if necessary), the marriage service and a certificate of marriage. These fees are fixed centrally. and the latest figures are shown below.

Wedding Fees 2008

                                                            £                      £

STATUTORY

Publication of Banns                             22.00               22.00

 

Certificate of Banns, if required 12.00               .........

 

Marriage Service                                  247.00             269.00

           

Marriage Certificate                                 3.50              272.50

 

LOCAL FEE

Verger’s Fee                                         40.00              312.50

 

LOCAL EXPENSES

Organist’s Fee                                      55.00               367.50

 

Choir, if available                                  60.00               427.50

 

Bells after service                                  70.00               497.50

 

Heating for service                                40.00               537.50

 

TOTAL                                                                        537.50

Q| Can I choose what kind of service I want?
A| There is quite a lot of flexibility and the Vicar will be happy to chat over the options. There are usually one or more readings from the Bible in the service - he can help you select the most appropriate - and you can use appropriate readings from other sources as well - a poem, for example.  We have a good book in the Parish Library full of readings for weddings which may give you some ideas. There will also be some prayers, which you may help to choose, or you may wish to write your own. You can ask a friend or member of your family to do the reading(s) and prayers if you wish.

The Vicar will probably give a brief talk or sermon.

If you have friends or family members you would like to involve in the service, for example by doing a reading or playing a musical instrument, discuss this with the Vicar at an early stage of your planning.

Q| Which hymns and songs can I have?
A| The Vicar or our Director of Music can discuss suitable hymns and songs, as well as music for coming in, going out and during the signing of the register. Generally, it's best to choose hymns that people will know and feel comfortable joining in.  If you want to set out the words and/or music on a printed service sheet, bear in mind that you will need to comply with copyright laws.

Q| Should we have one or two rings?
A| A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, and of the commitment you are making to each other. It is entirely up to you whether you have one ring or two.

Q| Can I have bridesmaids?
A| Some brides have many bridesmaids and a page boy, however you may not wish to have any at all. Bridesmaids are there to tend to the needs of the bride throughout the service, for making sure that your dress is arranged properly and 'waiting' on you. It must be said that few actually wait on the bride as they should! You will pass your bouquet to the chief bridesmaid at the beginning of the service and if you wear a veil she may help remove it. Traditionally the bride made her vows with the veil over her face, in case the groom changed his mind!

Q| What about the Best Man and ushers?
A| The Best Man will be there to assist the Groom, not least in taking care of the ring(s). It is said that once, if the Groom failed to appear the Best Man was obliged to marry the Bride! 

It is helpful if you provide two ushers who will welcome your guests and assist people as they arrive. Ushers should be present forty minutes before the wedding and distribute orders of service and buttonholes. They will also escort people to their seats. It is traditional for the family of the Groom to sit on the right side of church as you walk in, behind the Groom. The family of the Bride sit on the left, with a space saved for the person 'giving away' the bride. Increasingly this is a practice more honoured in the breach than in the observance and you may not wish to split the congregation in this way, especially if one family is very small.

Q| What do I do about flowers?
A| It is always a good idea to brighten up the church with some flowers for your wedding, although there is no need to be extravagant.  We have gifted people in the church who would be happy to help you, if you would like.  Just mention it to the Vicar when you meet with him.

Q| Will we have a rehearsal?
A| A rehearsal is held in the church, usually during the week before the marriage. Please contact the Vicar to arrange a date and time. At the rehearsal you should try to have the Best man, Bridesmaids and the person who is 'giving away' the Bride present. This is a time to run through the service and put you all at ease.

Q| Can we have a video recording of the service?
A| Please ask permission from the Vicar and from any organist.

Q| What about photographs?
A| Any photos taken during the service must be by your appointed official photographer only, and be taken without flash.  Flash may, however, be used for the signing of the Registers and when you walk down the aisle after the service.  Many people like to take photos across the road on the Church Green, which also enables you to get the church in the background - but watch out for tall vehicles getting in shot!

What do Christians believe about marriage?

Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, come what may.

The Bible compares married love with the love Jesus has for his followers. He expressed his love by being prepared to sacrifice himself, even to die for the people he loved. This is amazing, unconditional love. Jesus never said 'I love you, but …'. In our marriages we can try to follow his model by loving our partners in a self-sacrificial way, putting their needs before our own.

The marriage ceremony gives you a new legal status as husband and wife and a new stability within which your relationship can flourish and grow. Christians believe that marriage offers the right place for the fulfilment of our sexuality and that it provides a stable and secure environment for bringing up children.

We will do everything we can to make your wedding everything that you hope for.  We hope that it will be a wonderful day and that it will mark the beginning of a long and very happy marriage.

Read the Marriage Service

Renewal of Marriage Vows

Sometimes couples who have been married for some time appreciate a Service for the Renewal of Marriage Vows, to give thanks for their marriage.  The Vicar would be delighted to discuss this lovely service with you.

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