FWIW The musings of a webmaster Sunday 31 December 2006 What's this?

Downtime

We are, for the most part, frantic creatures.  We are so busy doing that we rarely allow time for our spirits to catch up with us.

This is a personal as well as a general observation.  Most of the time I feel driven to 'do'. If I am not achieving something I tend to feel guilty.  It's as if I have to validate and justify my existence through activity.

The poet Stephen Dobyns captures the feeling perfectly in his poem Pursuit:

Each thing I do I rush through so I can do

something else. In such a way do the days pass -

a blend of stock car racing and the never

ending building of a gothic cathedral.

It's true.  Whatever I am doing I usually feel that someone is standing behind me looking at their watch, sighing impatiently, waiting for me to finish so I can start something more important. 

Is this weird? Is it just me? Does anyone else share this feeling? In what does this experience of being driven have its roots? Stephen Dobyns asks the same question:

And why?

What treasure do I expect in my future?

Rather it is the confusion of childhood

loping behind me, the chaos in the mind,

the failure chipping away at each success.

I think he may be right. This is not the place for self analysis but there is a lot that rings true for me in those few lines.

I do not criticise busyness. It is good to be self motivated, to want to achieve, to move forward - all progress in our world depends upon it.  But where do you draw the line? After a frantically busy couple of months leading up to Christmas, I arrived at the celebration itself exhausted and more stressed than I can remember ever being. I felt weighted down by what I felt were other people's expectations of me (whether this was an accurate perception or not). Is this healthy? When we reached Boxing Day I felt like a huge weight had lifted - the pressure was finally off.  The period up to new year was uncluttered by commitments.  As I write this, part way through that period, I seem to be spending most of it just reading and sleeping.

Downtime.

Sometimes it's not a luxury, it's a necessity. Although that is not to say that I don't have that little voice behind me saying "you could be using this time to... and what about these jobs that need doing?...".

I wondered what the Bible has to say about downtime. It seems to me that God gives us a big clue right at the start, by taking a break on day seven. If we try to consistently work seven days a week we are trying to out-do even God - and surely there must be an element of arrogance in that?

In Exodus God gives the Israelites enough food for two days so that they do not have to go out on the Sabbath, but can rest. Some of them go out looking for food anyway but it proves unproductive (and there is a powerful lesson in that). So God has a word with Moses:

"How long will you refuse to keep my commands and my instructions? Bear in mind that the LORD has given you the Sabbath; that is why on the sixth day he gives you bread for two days. Everyone is to stay where he is on the seventh day; no one is to go out." So the people rested on the seventh day.

So whatever the problem is, it's certainly not a 21st century one. God, in his love for us, has built in downtime, yet many of us choose not to accept it as the gift it is. 'Twas ever thus.

There are many references in the New Testament to downtime but maybe the one that is most rewarding of reflection is

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

It's pure poetry, and a gracious invitation that may inspire some of us to consider the way we live today.

I don't claim to have the answer to any of this. After all, I'm one of the worst offenders. But it does seem to me that reflection is called for.

The Bible is surprisingly consistent in its references to a day of rest, and observing a Sabbath would probably be a pretty good start. Perhaps, also, those of us who feel that we have to justify our own existence by doing should take a long hard look at just why that is, and begin to challenge the ingrained message that drives us to live like that.  Is it, as Stephen Dobyns suggests "the confusion of childhood loping behind us" or something more banal that could be fixed by some time management training, or learning to just say "no"?

Sorry I don't have any more solid conclusions to share with you. But if you share this experience or have any thoughts feel free to .

But that's enough writing for one day. I'm sure you will understand, this is my downtime.  I'm determined, for once, to make the most of it.

With blessings from all of us at St. Andrew's.

Adrian

Webmaster

NOTE: I am the webmaster of St. Andrew's Church, not clergy or a reader.  I write as 'a man in a pew' so you should not assume that I necessarily know what I'm talking about, or that what I say reflects the views of other people in our church.

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