FWIW The musings of a webmaster Sunday 10 December 2006 What's this?

Benvenuto alla nostra chiesa

Why the church should be more like an Italian restaurant

"I'll meet you anytime you want, in our Italian restaurant."

Singer songwriter Billy Joel wrote a great and memorable song about an Italian restaurant. "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" is actually three songs fused together: it's a slice of life song - about friendship, love, marriage and divorce - bracketed within gentle, reflective lyrics about an Italian restaurant frequented, we assume, by Brenda and Eddy the rise and fall of whose relationship is charted in the core of the song.

It has always been one of my favourite tracks, and one that I used to play a lot in my previous existence as a hospital radio DJ. Recently, it has come to mind again during my travels for work.

When, as part of my job, I get out and about around the country I usually stay at the local Holiday Inn.  HI are easy to book, fairly consistent, clean and efficient. In these respects they have a lot going for them.

They also seem to me impersonal and soulless. I feel processed rather than welcomed as a guest. They are courteous but you can tell it is a script. It is also clear that they don't trust me.  Almost the first thing I'm asked for is a swipe of my credit card in case I do a runner (just say "no - I'll pay cash" - it confuses them no end!)

I rarely eat in the hotel. The food seems processed as well. I have got into the habit of searching on the web for the nearest family run Italian restaurant. Why? Because after the stresses of the day I want to be welcomed not processed.  I want to be nurtured, and to be in an environment where a solitary diner is appreciated rather than treated as a bit of an embarrassment. In a word, I am looking for hospitality.

Sustenance and welcome

Italian restaurants seem to know innately how to be hospitable.  For a start there is a refreshing lack of big corporate image trying to sell you something.  If it is there it's done sparingly - for this is a family venture. The focus is on you, the food, the wine and the welcome - not overwhelming you with an excess of corporate information. The message is "you are our guest, not a consumer.  You are a person who has come in search of sustenance and welcome - and we want you to find it in our restaurant. It's about how we can serve you during the time you are with us."

There is always a smile.  There is always that indefinable something, never expressed in words, that says "we're really pleased you're here".  It has got nothing to do with the corporate training scheme; it has everything to do with human beings extending genuine hospitality.  It's not overwhelming - your solitude is respected.  It's OK to read a book.

There is no fuss.  There is no feeling of "you poor thing eating on your own". It's OK. We know that people away on business need to eat too - and you've come to the right place. You made a good choice. This is what we do.

Oh, and another thing.  The staff enjoy being here. We're chatting with each other and with the regulars - but don't feel excluded. You're a part of this too.

I haven't even mentioned the food.  It's always good, and usually you can see the chef preparing it just for you.  Italian food is not fussy - generally it uses quite simple ingredients to produce something wonderful.  Unlike some French food, it is not trying to impress with its sophistication. Italian food meets you where you are.  You may not understand the whole menu, which is sometimes in an unfamiliar language, but the beauty of that language reassures that it's OK to trust the chef.

In the past 9 months I have visited a number of family run Italian restaurants and every one I want to go back to.  On one occasion I even organised my visits to ensure I would be in the right place at the right time to re-visit a particularly good one!

Italians know how to do hospitality.

The church and hospitality

Most churches are not in the restaurant business.  But we are here to offer hospitality.  At the very least we offer our guests a simple menu of bread and wine.

So what can we learn from an Italian restaurant? Six points I think.

Firstly, like the restaurant in Billy Joel's song, the church, at its best, can be a constant in people's lives.  They can live the highs and lows of their existence bracketed by the hospitality that the church community can offer.

Secondly, we cannot hope to encourage our guests to return to our church if we do not, genuinely, want to be there ourselves.  You can't fake it. The regulars have to be having a good time.

Thirdly, our guests come seeking sustenance and welcome - and we want them to find it in our church. This means a sincere smile and a word or two from a real human being. There is no place for processing people in the church.

Fourthly, we need to be attentive and open to our guests, whilst having the sensitivity to respect their need for solitude, and allowing them to adjust to their new environment. It's important to find a balance - we must never exclude, but if we are tempted to overwhelm this is may be a sign of our own anxiety. 

Fifthly, we must have the confidence to be as we are.  There is no need to try and impress. We're a family run concern here, not a corporation. No credit card pre-authorisation is required to eat here. The message is "whether you are on your own or in company, you've come to the right place, this is what we do - and you are very welcome."

And finally, always remember that we are the waiting staff. We are here to help the chef feed his guests. And it is that food - bread broken and wine outpoured - which is the real point of our church.

And whatever we may, or may not get right, we can be certain that the chef knows what he's doing.

Benvenuto alla nostra chiesa - welcome to our church.

With love from all of us at St. Andrew's.

Adrian

Webmaster

NOTE: I am the webmaster of St. Andrew's Church, not clergy or a reader.  I write as 'a man in a pew' so you should not assume that I necessarily know what I'm talking about, or that what I say reflects the views of other people in our church.

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